Friday, November 6, 2009

Devastated!

I NEED ADVICE!!!!

Jackson has gotten kicked out of his second MDO. (As I type this with tears streaming down my face, I feel so embarrassed, helpless, distraught...) He has always been what I like to call "impulsive and strong willed" and lately his behavior seemed to be improving. Two weeks ago, that all seemed to go downhill and fast. He bit a little boy at school (which was his second offense) and I was told that if he acted up again, he would be released from the program. Well, today he scratched a child's face and we were called and had to pick him up. They said that parents were questioning why he was still in the program. (Let me also say that he has been exceptionally good at home and nursery at church so we have no way of really knowing what is provoking him) What kills me, is that I feel like people have written him off already at the small age of 2.
I am so upset. I feel like a failure as a Mommy. I have prayed for wisdom and that the Lord would show me exactally the kind of Mommy/discipline that Jackson needs. What do I do? I am desperate!

(I am so mortified that I just wrote this post...but I am in need of something. Help me friends!)

7 comments:

Morgan Holt said...

Oh Shannon! I feel so badly for your situation. It's hard for me to know what you are going through because I haven't been in your situation (well...as of yet)! I think I may have one of those children coming up (ahem..Clara)! I think more of it has to do with not being able to vocalize what is making them angry. Clara bites and hits Emmersen out of anger because she can't really say "stop!" Do you think calling Dr. Bubba's office and having a chat with him would help? Some children also want more attention so they act out...especially when they have a sibling on the way or one that is new. Maybe all Jackson needs is more Mommy/Daddy time to assure him that he will always be your sweet baby boy! I know it's hard! Also, I'm so glad you wrote this blog post because it's true life! It's what really happens daily. No ones kids are perfect. Some people just have a hard time admitting that. You are doing a great job as Jackson's Mommy! Something will work with Jackson....maybe someone has a better idea that I do. Praying for you and Jackson! :) Keep Smiling Shannon (you're great at it)!

mustard seeds said...

All those other parents who look down their noses will one day have a problem with their children, too. None are perfect. You are a good Mother. Just be patient with him, and he will come around. He is a precious child. Love him unconditionally as Christ loves us.
Mom

Erin, Mommy on the Run said...

I'm so sorry Shannon! I know its hard, but you are a great mommy! God would not be giving you more babies if He didn't think so!! Some people aren't gifted with patience with children, and I think it's kinda sad that a program designed to teach and mold children would give up on him. I don't know Jackson, but I'm sure he will grow out of his "strong willed" stage. I know you must feel completely defeated right now, but it will get better. I'll say a prayer for you and Jackson.

Ben and Audrey said...

oh shannon.

your post made me so sorry for you. i don't think you're a failure in any way. and i believe that Jackson is a sweet little boy & i'm sure your frustrated on why you can't figure him or this out. i'll definitely be praying for you. i wish i had some advice but i'm not sure what to tell you. (which i'm sure isn't what you want to hear!!)

maybe he just gets frustrated & isn't sure how to express himself. i wish i knew what could be causing him to bite. i really want to help you. please let me know how it goes. i'm praying for you & Jackson. i'll be asking the Lord to give you peace & wisdom concerning a decision.

Lindy said...

shannon~ this too shall pass! You are a wonderful mommy and don't ever doubt that. I agree with the other posts, maybe he has a hard time expressing himself?! I would call your pediatrician and talk with him about it. they often can give insight that no one else can. For example, another mom i knew at our office that had a situation like yours found out her child did things like this right before they got really sick! (think like flu or strep throat) So as soon as her child starting acting out she would take his temp, make sure he was getting plenty of rest and ect.
HANG IN THERE!!! will be praying for you and Jackson

TIffany McKeown said...

Shannon, I really do sympathize with you. I have at least one strong willed child and my middle child is showing signs of being one also. They, thankfully, don't act out at mdo, but they do at home. Adelaide (4) is MUCH better now that we are able to sit her down and talk about what it is that is bothering her. It very well may be a matter of expression since you, undoubtedly, understand Jackson better and are able to meet his needs since you know what they are. Whereas, the teachers at school don't know him like you do and are probably, at times, unable to understand what he is wanting. I do have a book that is WONDERFUL. It is The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. I know that some people are very opposed to some of Dr. Dobson's teachings and opinions, but I really agree with the majority of the concepts in this book and have used them with my children. As with any discipline book, you have to chew up the meat and spit out the bones so to speak. Take what works for your family and use that. The things that you aren't interested in or don't agree with, don't use them (obviously). I do think that you will find the book helpful and will gain a lot of peace from reading that there are other people going through the exact same thing you did. My preacher and his wife introduced me to this book and they have a picture of their (now 15 year old) daughter at the age of two holding it and smiling. It was a christmas gift to them because she was so strong willed. She is now the sweetest, kindest, most tender hearted teenager I can think of. You are doing great. This has NOTHING to do with your ability as a mother. This is just Jackson's personality. You just keep your head up and keep encouraging him to use his words rather than his temper. We say that phrase A LOT around my house. Lucy (2) has a speech delay due to hearing loss, and she is acting out a lot more than Adelaide did. I really believe it is due to not being understood and able to verbalize what she needs or wants. Please look into that book (check it out from the library if you don't want to buy it). I really think you'll find it helpful.

Allyson said...

I agree with your mom...

Need some encouragement and maybe a laugh? (Or you might get frightened by the whole name thing because other Hudson mommies have told me they "can relate!")

http://houseofstephens.blogspot.com/2008/08/other.html

Hang in there and remember this isn't the first time in the history of MDO that this has happened.

Allyson

P.S. You look fantastic for 38 weeks! Enjoy these last days! Oh - I took my last Lovenox shot today! Yippee!